I tried so hard to keep you away
I strayed and pushed on negativity
Anything to turn you off and shut you out
Persistence and my weakness had me persuaded

You abused me and did nothing to cure
Only me intoxicated was your shot at me
I fell weak to temptation and behaved badly
Your existence alone is a plague

I regret ever meeting you
Attracted to your shadowy, now empty charm
Now I'm nowhere near high, only desolate and dried
Fear bleeds in and seeps through my weak heart

03-2014

I'm a college campus transplant
All along the west, I walk in and around
I observe and wish to commit but I simply can't
I remain one of the few, unable to be school bound

Still...

I traveled up north and roamed with the Huskies,
I visited the one and only Cruz and slowed it down with my Banana Slug,
I got lost in the SB lagoons and was found by the best Gaucho around,
I walked up and down the Sunset hill to be so welcomed and accepted by all my Bruin bears,
I went back into town and met up with my travelin' Trojan, and was shown how to keep strong and fight on

Although...

I'm not too experienced,
Unfamiliar with advanced texts and raging intellects,
I know my beloved mascots shine on and stay victorious
That alone makes me so proud to be rolling with the best

03-2014

nightmare untitled

somebody was chasing me
i was busy chasing a high
i couldn't outrun him
it was life or death
i knew i was dreaming and all that was happening
somebody had an agenda against me
somebody wanted to hurt me
i couldn't get myself to wake up
it's almost as if i knew what would happen if i let go and admit defeat 

struggling and struggling to escape
but i had no power
i was pumped up in fear
i was on the brink of complete surrender

i woke up startled and disturbed
at that moment i debated my evil decisions
and analyzed whether darkness was about to take complete hold of me
i wanted to be healed
healed from horrible things
inevitable, disgusting, and deviant

02-2014

#5
Sometimes I get scared of sleeping because of the possibility in serious nightmares that seem all too real.  That lingering discomfort and how it ruins your whole day has to be one of the unsettling things about falling asleep.  Too many times I've had dreams where someone is out to get me and I can't handle it.