Self-inflicted harm and quick brushes of death
I filled my head with uncertainty and worry
Was I destined for perpetual fear and risks?
I'd cry and apologize for how I dealt
It made no sense
I kept it secret and when exposed, I was drowning in shame

Medicating it all with poison, pills, and powder
A pop, a shot, a stiff sniff
I froze my brain and numbed my heart
My only determination was to chase the highest high

02-2014

#1
I was prompted to make a list of the most important events/moments that has happened in my life, compare two, and write about it.  
That was hard to do and at the same time, it helped me surface a lot of heavy and happy memories. 
I chose to write about my experience with attempted suicide and the car accidents I have been in that have always left me weird and empty.  I flirted with death and the possibility of ending it all, and I was too busy seeking the thrill post-trauma.